Robin posted a link in one of her posts to the Keirsey Temperament Report, and I was reminded that we were administered this test while I was working at Starbucks. Large corporations like to use this tool foe management, supposedly to help managers understand their people and their temperament and what they best and most effective way would be to relate to them. It has an air of “1984″ to it when used by a corporation, but I will say it is an effective tool in self understanding and understanding others. If you are an introverted idealist and have a boss who is an extroverted hard ass, well, you’re probably not going to see eye to eye on a lot of things, but if you understand each other’s patterns of behavior, you can begin to work together and compromise.

I retook the test today, and I am, once again, tested as an idealist(you can read the personality traits on the linked site), but I didn’t pay for the further analysis as to which type of idealist I am, although I have a general sense of myself as being introverted–I can be very extroverted but it’s work for me, whereas it is natural to be extroverted for an extrovert. So, maybe I’m an idealist healer or teacher.

I think it’s interesting that our group is very rare, maybe 2% of the population, which I guess explains a lot, but I like being in a rare group, further testament to me being an idealist.

A while ago, I stepped outside of a Starbucks to have a smoke, and as I blew the smoke from my mouth, I had the idea come to me that I was a dragon. The idea has been on the back burner for a while, but here’s what I’d like to do with it. I read up on the philosophy of chinese dragons a bit today, and while I cannot pretend to be able to offer up a real understanding of the chinese cultural understanding, I see a dragon as a concept, as embodying the concepts of great martial arts, or gong fu–like Bruce Lee was the Dragon of all Dragons–or the Dragon in “Spirited Away” named Hakku. The dragon is a creature who because he is so in tune with nature, can control it–he is a protector, a mentor, a person of courage, strength, and honor. He is a person of high moral character. He would be the person who embodies the concepts of the I Ching.

So I wanted to come up with a dragon name for myself–I guess I have earth dragon qualities–quiet, and I’ve thought about calling myself the quiet dragon. But I’m not sure yet. I associate the tai chi concept of transforming jing, physical essence, to chi, or life energy or force, and transforming chi to shen, or spiritual energy–I associate the shen spirit to the spirit of the dragon–the time when we become attuned to or transformed into our spirit dragon, or most embody our dragon qualities. So, I like working on becoming a dragon–when I decide what my dragon name is, I might actually be able to fulfill becoming it.

In fact, in flipping around the web, I found this site on “Becoming a Dragon,” and Dragon Training:

The I Ching(my version is that of Brian Browne Walker) is an excellent text for anyone pursuing a taoist vision of life, or practicing tai chi as a way of life. It is a “guide to life’s turning points,” and of course,life is turning or changing all the time. But it is a philosophy of character and correct behavior, a way. It is a pure, truthful, innocent approach to life, not a Macchiavellian, or temporal success tome.

I’ve “consulted” the I Ching recently, and it has been dead on with advice. I was bummed out about not getting a date with someone recently, and it said not to be ruled by the desires of the ego, by desire. We all want things, including me, but to allow our desires to control us throws us out of balance.

I’ll often ask the I Ching for a lesson of the day. Yesterday, it was sui, following. Do not argue with what is, simply follow the progress of truth. Make it possible for others to be loyal and helpful to you by following inner truth. Quietly accept the way things are. Acceptance is the most fundamental philosophy of the I Ching.

I interpret acceptance in two ways. First, it is wu wei, non action, not trying to agressively take control of a situation, allowing things to resolve themselves, sometimes with just a little bit of a gentle nudge here and there, very much like the 8 ounces deflecting the thousand pounds concept of tai chi. But premeditated manipulation of things is not good. It is also a recognition of the temporal quality of agressive action, and most of the time, its futility.

But I also interpret acceptance as when we accept things like a gift. We have to learn to be accepting, and as an extension, grateful. Life itself, with its ups and downs is a gift.

Today, I received ting, or the cauldron. The cauldron is the image representing the mind and our thoughts, and my lesson from the I Ching today was to sit in meditation and purify my thoughts, beause it is what is in the cauldron of the mind that is your offering to the higher power, and the quality of your asistance from the higher power is in direct relation to the quality of your offering.

Our thoughts are so tainted and mudied and dirtied, often without us realizing it because we give free reign to our thoughts and imaginations and desires and fantasies. But when you make a conscious effort to clean it up, to purify it, to make of it an ofering, first you realize what a mess it is in there, and then you realize how cool it is to clean it up a little and make it presentable to a “higher power.”

Walker says, give up the incessant demands of the ego, …fears, desires, strategies to control, harshness towards others, all this repels the higher power and blocks your nourishment.

So, see what’s in that cauldron of a head of yours, purify it, and be open to the assistance of the Creative.

So, 2nd day off in a row. What do I do with my time? yesterday, it was a few chores, some tai chi, blogging. The Catholic Channel is on the TV most of the time. The Rosary is done many times throughout the day, sometimes harshly, actually, but most of the time, it is what it is, a fruitful meditation. I can’t get Christ out of my life! Oh, I’ve had the crisis of faith, and the Sunday mass is so intolerable to me. But the question haunts, do I need a savior? And if I don’t, then the whole Jesus thing goes out the window. How could I have lost my faith, having once felt I had a vocation to the monastic life or to the priesthood? How, after 2,000 years of church history, of the revelation of the Bible, how could I not believe? How is it that I have to question in the very depths of my being whether I am created in the Image and likeness of God? Why can’t I say with confidence, I am created in the Image and Likeness of God.

I am journeying in the great Unknown. I have glimpses of the Divine, but it is not apparent to me. I am called to holiness, purity, sacredness, love, compassion, innoc ence, humility, kindness, modesty, self improvement and development. I am called to the contemplative life, in tai chi, in seated meditation, in walking, in work, in life. My life is a bit out of balance because when I do work, it’s usually a ten hour day, and while I have a great boss nd the company is ok, I have no illusions that I am indeed working for a corporation and it’s about corporate rules of life. The other foot will inevitably drop.

Thinking the last two days about Mike Murdoch’s 7 laws, and applying them to myself, doing a bit of self work.
1. I have discerned for myself difference, what makes me different. I am a contemplative practitioner of tai chi chuan. I try to pursue character traits I mentioned above, holiness, purity, humility, etc.

2. I have worked on my mind. I am always learning and improving, and I practice visualization. I see myself in my hermitage in the mountains somewhere being a taoist monk. I just don’t want to give up smoking and socialization and heat!

3. The Law of Recognition–I need to ruminate more on this. If there is something missing–I need to determine what that is, and if it’s right in front of me, I’m still not seeing it. Where the hell is Waldo!

4. The Law of 2–my seasons have changed, and there have been a lot of what I would call minor seasons. The people in my work life, like my current boss, have been important in changing my season, but I see it as minor in reference to my real life. I do not have a sifu or teacher. I probably need one. I have had special students. But who is that special person, that one person that Mike Murdoch suggests can change my life like that(snap fingers)?

5. The Law of Place–Living where I am feels realy right. Where I’m working, I feel like I’m in hiding. In fact, most of my life in Newark, I felt like I was in hiding. Even my new apartment I’ve been in the past four years, it’s like being in the Batcave or at least flying under the radar. No one knows I’m there and it’s good(people know I’m there, I’m not out of contact with friends and family), I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s a bit like being in a hermitage already and it feels like a safe haven. But if I have visions of myself being a monk in the mountains, maybe that’s where I need to get myself in order to let my genius emerge.

6. The Law of Honor–I’ve honored my mother and father and have a strong moral code of honor. I do not have a taoist or tai chi sifu in my life right now, a mentor, to who I show honor. I need one.

7. The Law of Seed. I have chosen to seed by helping friends in need. I have also seeded by learning tai chi, by practicing. Sitting zazen is a seed, doing tai chi is a seed, teaching is a seed, this blog is a seed, my youtube videos is a seed, and if the online course website ever gets up and running, that will be a seed also. Writing the book will also be a seed if I ever carve out the time and I’ve been waiting to start in earnest on that til after the website goes live. But, there are a lot of seeds, and I’ll have to learn how to reap the harvest.

I made a list last night of the things I feel are holding me back:
–my credit card debt
–my smoking
–not having a mentor
–having to work to live as I’m living
–fleshly desires(is there a better way to say that)
–a clearer vision of what I want

There needs to be a revolution in this country, even if it’s a personal revolution. We have become a society that was encouraged to save to a society encouraged and entrapped in debt. There is no question that banks and credit card companies are greedy evil entities who charge usurous interest and fees. This is not a statement against capitalism or making money. There’s nothing wrong with a bank lending you money at a reasonable rate. But there are no laws to govern how much they charge, and it’s obvious at least to me that 19.99 percent, or 29.99 per cent ought to be against the law, not to mention the late fees and charges they want you to incur so they can get that much more out of you.

Without a law to cap the rates they charge us, there really is no other recourse but to do all we can to extricate ourselves rom debt, pay it off, and stop using it. I personally am still in debt, and like the idea of having the few thousand dollars available credit for an emergency, but I also need to do all I can to pay it down and out and get rid of it.

It’s an insidious part of our economy and I think it is naive to think or to place the blame on people like myself who end up in debt. People are targeted and moved like sheep into the system and then like an animal in the woods, you find yourself in a steel trap. So, we all need to wake up. Here’s a video I caught today on youtube of a young woman with a conscience.

I wanted to share this video(please watch part 2 also) because the music is very cool and the prayer for divine mercy is very powerful. There is truth in beauty.

So, late night viewing brings me to Mike Murdoch again of Inspiration Ministries. Last night was a new program but a review of his “seven laws” for success in life. I’ll recap it here because they are, to me, wonderful lessons for contemplation. Whether the final call to send money is the right thing, well, I still haven’t bought into it. It’s funny, but when you see the same thing over and over, you begin to see some of the contradictions, and where there might be the lie hidden in the truth. But, there is a lot of good stuff in it so I’ll recap it for you, but I’m wary of anyone whose pitch is, don’t be dumb, don’t be ignorant(when I bought my car so many years ago, that was the pitch the guy used to sell me extra insurance,”don’t make the biggest mistake of your life and drive the car off the lot without supplemental insurance.” Luckily I was so done with the car buying process, I was ready to not spend one more dime for the car).

So,

Law # 1 The Law of difference.
This is having the wisdom to be able to discern difference. What makes you different from everyone else. What problem can you solve?

Law#2 The Law of the Mind
Knowing how to focus the mind, to rule the mind, to make the mind work for you, not let the mind control you. To learn, to be focused, to concentrate, to have a picture in your mind of what you want and go for it, like visualization. See it. Have pictures up on the wall.

Law# 3 The Law of Recognition
The thing you need is there; it’s just a matter of recognizing it. If there’s something missing in your life, there’s more than likely something you’re not seeing. Most of the time it’s right in front of your face but you are so conditioned and so distracted that you don’t see it. I like this one a lot. Tai chi helps with this, and taking the time for contemplation and meditation. What are you not seeing?

Law #4 The Law of 2
Mike Murdoch speaks of the power of covenant, and that the difference in seasons is a person. One person can change your life in 24 hours. All you need is one person to recognize what is special about you, to take you on as a mentor to you, to enter into a covenant with you. Who is that person?

Law #5 The Law of Place
Where you are is as important as what you are. Mike Murdoch speaks of Jesus, who had to leave his hometwown and preach elsewhere to be recognized. When you are where you belong, your genius emerges. So it behooves us to consider whether we are where we need to be, and if not, where is that place.

Law #6 The Law of Honor
Your future is determined by who you have chosen to honor. You must have a code of honor. Honor is a seed that will outlast a lifetime.

Law #7 The Law of the Seed
Our offerings to God are seeds that produce a harvest. There are many types of seeds in our life. Honor is the seed for access, kindness is a seed, time is a seed, love is a seed, teaching is a seed, giving is a seed. This law is to work in the financial arena as well.

But there are two important caveats Murdoch adds–we need to learn to reap what we sow. If we do not reap what we sow, there is no harvest. And, expectation is an important and essential part of the equation. If we seed without expectation of of reaping a harvest, we will not reap the harvest. If we expect a harvest of God, it shows faith in God, and faith in God is confidence in God, and God likes us to have confidence in him.

I will add here that when a farmer plants his seeds, it takes an awful lot of seeds to make a harvest, and many of the seeds don’t take. The same probably holds true in ther mystical sense. We may plant a lot of seeds, a teacher for example, in his or her lifetime, plants many seeds in many students, but not all bear fruit.

I will also add here that while I think I believe in sowing money as a seed, you do have to discern carefully where you are sowing that money.

The practice of tai chi chuan has many benefits–it is good for your physical health, and it is perhaps the highest level martial art one can learn, perhaps the most effective if learned well and practiced correctly. But it is also a practice of the contemplative life. There is a palpable connection or recognition or awareness or understanding of who we are and our place in the universe when we practice tai chi. All the answers come flooding to us in experiences of knowing. We get it intuitively in the slowness of movement, of the integration of body mind and spirit(this trinity has been invoked so much it has lost some of its real meaning; I’m surprised we haven’t seen it on a cereal box yet: “The breakfast of body mind and spirit”). We sense it in the centering that takes place, in the circles arcs and spirals of the form, in the inner transformation.

Like prayer, if tai chi is rushed because we’re trying to get it in before going to work or getting on our horse to get the chores done, it loses a lot of its effectiveness. We have to sit into it and enjoy it. It’s one of the arguments for short forms; we are able to take our time with fewer moves and get more out of them; we don’t get anxious at the third run of cloud hands, wanting to get the form over with.

In practicing tai chi and qi gong and seated meditation, we are doing what we do in centering prayer. Experiencing the numenous, divine reality of who we are, becoming more fully human.

With teaching, whether catholic or taoist, we round out who wse are with virtues of character–we are humble, modest, practitioners of correct action, honorable, loyal, innocent, pure and holy.

There is holiness to life. There is holiness recognized while doing tai chi.

Great Thanksgiving yesterday with my brother and his family. Even down to the foosball tournament we had!
This morning, up at 3:30am to get to work and open the shoe store for 5am for black friday. Looks like we’re gonna make the day financially, so my boss is happy and so am I.

Now to the recession and depression. We are not in a depression. We might be in a bit of a recession, but I’ll say this about that: maybe people aren’t spending as much, but, and I’m very old school conservative about this, I consider much of the stuff sold in malls crap, and people threw their money at that crap all day long. You know, if times were really hard, and you had a pair of shoes, you wouldn’t go to the mall and buy two more pairs because it was a good sale, or buy perfume and cologne, or electronics, or any number of other things. You know, for a while, I was on a Waltons kick, and among other things, it really depicts what life was like during the depression and how people survived and made due. We today don’t have a clue about real hardship and how to cope(well, I know I went through some hard times recently and let the depression era mentality kick in–you don’t buy what you don’t absolutely need). So, you know, many Americans still have money to spend, and they spent it today…